Jan 14, 2013

Reflections on youthful melodies.

"Jesus put this song in my heart,
He turned my life around.
He gave me a treasure,
the life of a servant."

"Jesus put this song in my heart,
a joyful melody.
He gave me a treasure,
the life of a servant."

     My kids picked up on this song the last time there were at Babu and Gogo's house.  My ears are familiar with it.  I think I remember it from my childhood.

     Though upon first hearing/glance, the song seems pretty cheesy, these words have so challenged me this week and, for several days, have become the meditation and prayer of my heart.

     He gave us this treasure: the life of being a servant.  And such a treasure it is, that it brings joy to the heart.  I feel like if there is a going to be a theme to my life's relationship with my Savior, this might be it. (Well, one of them...there are a few building.) Finding true life and joy in giving my life away.

     Though I often hear talk of  "making sure that I am taking care of myself" and that I "can't take care of others until I take care of myself", I'm not quite sure how to process these ideas.  I don't think that people who say these things are bad!  I am just trying to think about it.  Yes, surely, we have limits.  We cannot go without any sleep, and we definitely have unique things that we find refreshing to our souls.  With this I have no disagreement.  And I often do some of those very things that I find refreshing.

     But....as my body goes further and longer into this life, I am finding another kind of refreshment.  One that is not founded in "getting what I need", but in surrender.  He has given me countless joys in the midst of choosing to engage in someone else's agenda.  It is not just a token snippet of joy to tide me over until I can really "do something for myself".  (This is what my, and many others', I think, idea of joy in sacrifice often is.) Rather, it is a deep, soul-refreshing joy (the idea of waters rushing over me comes into my mind) that comes out of the change of my heart.  Not a snippet, but a something new and permanent.  Or at least semi-permanent. Still trying to figure it out.  Certainly, I often don't live in this frame of mind and find myself repenting again, but there is still something in me that has been changed as a result of this kind of joy.

     And when I think about what the Bible says, I can't seem to find much about "taking care of my own needs."  I actually see the opposite quite often.  Lose your life, then you'll find it.  Consider others needs more important than your own.  Many, many more. 

     I feel like I only have partial words to describe this, because I am yet so limited in my comprehension of it all.  But it is clear that it is a theme that God has placed upon my life.  And I am eager for Him to reveal more.  I am not saying that one wouldn't do well to think about boundaries.  It is certainly foolish to rashly commit to everything our busied culture will throw at us.  So I understand the struggle. I feel myself in it, daily.  I think there is great benefit in understanding our limitations.  I just wonder what joy is awaiting me, the more I decide to surrender my life.

     Okay, thanks for going along with me as I processed some of that.

     Here is our kitchen island over the last couple of days:
     I Spy: puzzles still intact from Christmas break, school supplies, Malia's current read, the ongoing chess game that is happening between Daddy and daughters these days, felt squares being cut by big sisters for little sister's birthday tomorrow, a snot rag, and somewhere under the felt I think is a library book.

Aliza was just as much a part of the action as the other girls.  I figure she doesn't know what its all for. :)

I asked Aliza to find a certain color and pass it to me as I sewed them together.

Josie has taken over the weaving loom the last few days.

A new skill is being developed here.

 Any thoughts about the above post are welcome!  Writing it out helps me to understand it better. :)

1 comment:

  1. Nanette8:16 PM

    In our sermon yesterday we were told "Our responsiblity is to empty our cups, not to fill the cup of others". (deny myself, serve, push myself to reach and equip on purpose). Purpose brings unity, purpose begins with relationship (love the Lord, love your neighbor - the great commandment). Just some thoughts from my notes yesterday.